I stopped for a while so I could concentrate on college courses I was taking online. They were extremely taxing, even though I was unemployed at the time, I was stressing out every week as the work grew more intense. My plan had been to go back to school for a degree in Biblical Studies, but the problem was I would have to take three semesters of tedious classes like Health, Microsoft Office, math, and Lord knows what else before I could take the first course in which I was interested. I must say, I discovered that one does reach an age at which learning becomes more difficult. Not to say I didn't do well. I got an A & a B+, as I wanted, it's just I always stress out when challenged, only to come through realizing it wasn't as impossible as I thought.
This discovered, I also looked at the cost, and I could not continue to justify the debt accumulation to reach the point I wished for, and decided to not continue. Now I have to pay back the loans while working in a theme park. At least I have a full time job again, that I love, and it doesn't stress me out. I've had to face the fact that companies do discriminate against older women regardless of laws. They can always give some reason for not hiring someone over 50, but the excuse will never be because they would bring up the average age of their staff therefore increasing their medical insurance costs, or the likelihood of health issues that may take the person out of the office on sick leave. No, a pretty smile and confident manner don't mean much once the gray hairs start to show and the wrinkles line the face.
I'm currently the oldest person working in my store where I work in the theme park. I have asked for opportunities to move up, and get promises of help, but when it comes down to it, the teenager that is not even legally able to drink alcohol is the one getting advice on how to get promoted. I could have a supervisor that is literally young enough to be my grandchild.
I'm sorry, but I can't seem to find a prayer for that situation! It's funny, but not.
Yes my friends, faith is very important, prayers are very important, but acceptance of life as it is can be the hardest thing of which to deal. Life is not fair. God is fair. He lets us make our own mistakes and find the solutions. Sometimes they, the solutions, are there, right in front of us, but we are too blind with our own self pity to see them. I've been blinded, I've wandered in the wrong direction, but I keep getting back up. I keep going.
Since I was old enough to know right from wrong, my life has been guided by so many variables. Each turn was a decision that I made, me, my decision, and therefore my responsibility. If I had made a different decision at any of those turning points, my life may have been different. Or, it may have just taken a detour and ended up in the same place. Only God knows the answer to that question. Free will. It is the gift that came with that forbidden fruit. If Eve had known the outcome of her actions, would she have taken that bite? If Mary had said to the Angel (Lk 1:38), "Let me get back to you" would the world be a different place?
Blessings,
The Catholic Lady
"If God can work through me, he can work through anyone." St. Francis of Assisi
