Working through the pain, part 2

 

     I have found as a sufferer of Fibromyalgia, that those that suffer are rarely understood. No one that has not suffered can ever TRUELY understand what it is to suffer with pain twenty four hours a day. And knowing this, how can we understand the pain and suffering of those that suffer death from torture and injury? Can we truly understand the pain and suffering that Jesus endured at the hands of the Romans? I can't imagine, even with the worst days of my flareups, or remembering the pain of a broken ankle and childbirth, all rolled into one, could not equal the suffering that He endured for me in just five minutes of his Passion. I shiver at the thought! I would have fainted with the first strike of the cat-o-nine tails on my back! The Jews would never have punished anyone the way Jesus was punished that day. The maximum lashes to be given were never to exceed forty, so to ensure no accidental miss-counts, they would stop at thirty nine lashes. The Shroud of Turin in reverse photography shows the lash mark blood stains. But the Romans, who had perfected the methods of torture, had no compunction to stop so soon. If the Shroud of Turin is as real as I believe it is, our Lord was struck over 100 times!

How can we, as pampered Americans, who have outlawed all methods of corporal punishment, who have actually made the death penalty as painless as a needle in the arm, ever understand that kind of pain and suffering? It’s simple, we can't. With that understanding, we should be humbled, and with great humility, surrender ourselves to Christ's love. Anyone that would endure the unendurable for my sorry butt, deserves my un-dying love and gratitude. For myself, I am not a person to let pain stop me from living my life. I decided after a time of feeling sorry for myself, that I would not let it stop me from enjoying life, but it took a while.

Text courtesy of http://usccb.org/bible/index.cfm

I remember crying in my husbands arms shortly after my diagnosis, thinking that I would never be able to enjoy long walks on the beach, again, or playing with my children, and my grandchildren. I was seeing way into the future and crying about things that had not happened yet.

Fibromyalgia is one of those hard to diagnose problems, as the symptoms are similar to so many other conditions. Joint pain is similar to Rheumatoid and Osteo Arthritis. The Chronic Fatigue is similar to RA and Lupus, and Hyper-Thyroidism, heart conditions, etc. First they must test for all the things they have tests for, and then make a conclusion when everything else has been eliminated.

In time, I learned more and found that a person can have FMS for their whole life and it finally manifests itself fully after a stressful event or trauma. The doctor started me out on medications, pain relievers, muscle relaxers, anti-depressants, and because my blood pressure was raging high, blood pressure medicine. Yikes! I was feeling older by the minute! Eventually, I had to find ways to reduce my stress, changing jobs, changing meds, but the pain was always there. The fatigue never left me. I tried swimming in warm water, and I got a little better. I heard about an alkaline diet but I blew it off for over two years as hokum. Then one year, after meeting my son's Chinese in-laws, they made me see that eating right may be the answer. And I had six months to try it before my son's wedding. After two months of eating stir-fry veggies, cutting out meat, and eating more fruit, I was feeling so good I began to wean myself off the meds. I flipped out my rheumatologist, eventually leaving and never going back. God answered my prayers when I got out of my own way. (And I got to dance at my son's wedding!) I could have been off the meds years ago if I had listened to the people He kept sending to me.

original image owned by E.Fippinger

So, long story short, I am in control of my pain. It is my decision if I do not follow the proper diet, it is my fault if I let myself get stressed out to the point of causing a flareup. God didn't do it to me, He showed me how to manage it myself. Today, when I find myself unable to stick to my diet, for reasons not important here, I "offer it up" for Jesus. I offer my pain and suffering to him, to accept and use for good. I offer my pain for others needs, for my husband, for my friends, for my own time in purgatory.

 

Text courtesy of http://usccb.org/bible/index.cfm

Somehow, in knowing that my pain is accepted by Jesus, I find the strength to endure my flareups. I go on with my life, my church and job. I will never lie in bed and surrender to the pain, because to me, that is like surrendering to the evil one. The greatest gift we can give to God, is our suffering; and by putting on a smile and continuing to serve the Lord and loving others even when we hurt, we will receive our reward, if not in this mortal life, in the next life awaiting us in Heaven. Finding strength in prayer is not always easy, but Jesus is always there, waiting for us to ask Him for His Grace to endure. He is there for you. All you have to do is ask, and it shall be given you, knock and the door shall be opened. Open your heart and mind and allow him to come in.

Have you experienced pain and suffering? Has it caused you to doubt your faith? Have you left church and feel alone? Come home, come back, we will welcome you with open arms, and we will pray for you. Life can be good again, you just have to get out of your own way.

Blessings,

The Catholic Lady©